cinnamon sugar pecans

We wanted to give our landlord something small as a “thank you and we really appreciate you” without feeling like we needed to go out and buy something he may or may not even want. I love reading this blog because Natalie is so incredibly thrifty, creative, and  good at making something simple so very beautiful. I’ve been more inspired to really use what we have and think outside of the box. We have such power in our day to day lives to make people feel known and appreciated. I’m not the best at using those opportunities but I want to work on really seeking those out and using the small moments to make people feel loved.

We ended up making these cinnamon sugar pecans, cutting down the sugars to 1 c. each. I still think you could cut it back even more, but these are such a delicious treat and simple to make and gift! I used a mason jar that we already had, added a bit of fabric from my scraps and tied a tag on with twine. So easy and it didn’t cost us a thing to make!

stories of the year

There is something about the new year that still makes me a little bit giddy. Although it really is no different and the days will pass as they always have, the idea of newness and a fresh start always manages to find a home in the back of my mind. Maybe it’s simply the feel of crisp whiteness against the slate of grey days. I don’t typically make resolutions but last year I decided to set a goal for myself. 21 books. 2013 was the year that I spent as a twenty-one year old and I wanted to read as many books. As a kid, I grew up at the library. I hung out during the summer programs and volunteered there as a teenager. Now I try to visit the book sale whenever I’m back in town. But somewhere in the midst of college, my love of reading was buried beneath a stack of assignments and final papers. Last year I knew I wanted something to change.

I wanted to practice the discipline of making time for something I loved so much, something that was nourishing for me as a human. To intentionally make my way to home base with a warm mug and a story to slip into. In 2013 I learned how to better make time for myself and in 2014 I learned how to appreciate it on a whole new level. This year, the goal was 22 books. I ended up surpassing that number a bit but I feel the same way I did at the end of last year; there are stories worth living and telling and there is great value in sharing them. No set parameters or specific books I had to read. I just wanted to READ. Here is my adventure in books this year:

A Long Way Gone
The Color of Water
Bridge to Terabithia
Where Things Come Back
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
Dear Mr. Henshaw
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Wild
The Tale of Despereaux
The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team
Peace Like a River
A Painted House
Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl I Learned From Judy Blume
Walk Two Moons
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Bud, Not Buddy
A Homemade Life
It’s Like This, Cat
Bread and Wine
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl
Where’d You Go, Bernadette
I Am Malala
The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears
The Bite of the Mango
The Rosie Project
Tell the Wolves I’m Home
Charlotte’s Web
Gone Girl
Little House in the Big Woods
The Magician’s Nephew
Little House on the Prairie
Farmer Boy
All the Light We Cannot See

This year included a variety. Newbery medal winners, stories from countries far away, books that made me laugh, and a few that made me weep. There are stories that will stick with me for the rest of my life, stories that I cannot wait to pass on to my friends. It has been an incredible year of adventuring through these and I am already so excited to start reading in 2015. There were so many incredible books this year but these three stand out the most:

Cheers to stories worth living and telling. If you’ve loved any of these, I always enjoy a good book discussion over coffee. Happy reading, friends!

food & nourishment: along the way

When thinking about marriage, one of the aspects that caused the most anxiety was the thought of cooking meals for somebody else. My senior year I had a meal plan at the sorority house as well as on campus for being a resident assistant. Even if I wanted to cook, I lived in a dorm so my options were pretty limited. This summer I moved into our house for 6 weeks before the wedding. For the first time in a while, I had to think about food and how I was going to eat. I was more than okay with cereal for dinner and sandwiches every day. The truth is, I was terrified of being really bad at something. I had cooked some at home and could handle the basics but had never really had to consistently prepare food for myself, let alone for someone else.

The last six months I have learned so much about food. Not just about what I’m eating (Whole30) but what it symbolizes and why it matters. The table is more than just a place to sit and eat meals. It’s a place to invite people and welcome them in; not just into the kitchen but also into life – both the pretty and the messy parts. I love this quote from Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist:

“I think preparing food and feeding people brings nourishment not only to our bodies but to our spirits. Feeding people is a way of loving them, in the same way that feeding ourselves is a way of honoring our own createdness and fragility”

Along the way, I’ve learned a ton of practical things as well. I still have so much to learn but I’ve come to see meal planning and food preparation as something to be enjoyed and not dreaded. With Taylor working full time and me in grad school and working 8-10 hours a week, we’ve had to fine tune the balancing act. We’ve figured out how to plan ahead, shop better and stick to the budget. Here are a few things we’ve learned along the way:

1. Plan ahead. I try to sit down on Saturday or Sunday and map out what we’ll have for dinners for the week. I know that Thursdays we have our community group so we’ll only have to bring a side. If there are any birthdays or events going on that week, that’s one less night to plan for. We try to get everything we’ll need in one trip so that we aren’t constantly running down the road to the neighborhood market. The less you go to the store, the less money you spend.
2. Make extra. Having leftovers in the freezer has been HUGE for us. It means cooking less and really stressful weeks we can pull something out in the morning and let it thaw all day. It also helps not having to eat the same leftovers for so many days in a row.
3. Price match and don’t be afraid to use coupons. We always check the Aldi ad for produce prices and then price match at Wal-Mart because its closer to our house. We don’t consistently use coupons but if I know that we need toothpaste/laundry detergent/toilet paper, I try not to buy it without one. Products that aren’t necessarily “name brand” are just as good at a fraction of the cost. I’m a huge fan of trekking across town to Aldi – don’t forget your quarter!
4. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. And if its a flop, Eureka Pizza is never too far away. Most of the things we love are so simple they probably don’t even count as recipes. Here are some of the foods we’ve enjoyed along the way:

Pesto Tilapia
Baked Potato Soup – best with bread bowls
Lemon Chicken Parmesan
Italian Sausage & Tortellini Skillet
Slow Cooker Tikka Masala
Honey Balsamic Chicken
Crockpot Chicken Taco Chili

Pinterest is so handy for meal planning – you can find me here. Have any must try recipes? We would love to have them!

preparing for this season

I cannot believe it is DECEMBER, let alone the 10th. One week from today I will be done with my first semester of grad school which is a miracle in and of itself. The last month has flown by and we are doing all that we can to make the most of the holiday season. This year is our first Christmas as a MARRIED COUPLE. It has been a time of establishing new traditions and really seeking what this time means. Each day we read from this advent book and it has been challenging in a very good way. Advent is the promise of His coming and we are waiting in anticipation.

Last weekend we adventured out to Lollis Tree Farm in Rudy, Arkansas. The people there were so friendly and it was such a fun atmosphere. I can’t wait to visit again next year.

Our house and tree are decorated almost entirely with things that have been given to us or bought at the thrift store. Adjusting to a budget has had its ups and downs, but I’m especially thankful for it now. I don’t want to get caught up in the shiny and new and pretty wrapping of Christmas. I want to remember the birth of a savior, the fulfillment of a promise 6,000 years before. The same promise that is as true today as it was then.

fall via my iphone

We’ve done a good bit of adventuring the last few weeks and have been able to cross a few things off of our Fall List. We made it to the War Eagle Craft Fair, drove the Pig Trail, and hiked out to Hawksbill Crag. We also managed to find the apple cider a local coffee shop sells although we’ve yet to enjoy it on the porch with the firepit. The leaves are still showing off and although Daylight Savings is still totally throwing me off, we are enjoying this beautiful weather before the cold really sets in. Northwest Arkansas is an incredible place to live.

We are running the Tulsa Route 66 Half-Marathon in TWO weeks and I am starting to get a little giddy. Partially because I’m excited, partially because I can’t wait for it to be over. The pumpkin candle is still burning but soon enough it’ll be time to replace it with something that reminds me of Christmas. Enjoy the last of the beautiful leaves and the season we have now!

thoughts on Whole30

Whole 30 is a reset for your body, a chance to identify allergies, habits, addictions. Essentially, it’s 30 days of no sugar, dairy, grains, soy, corn, and legumes. You can read more about it here.

For me, Whole30 wasn’t a crash diet, a fad, or an attempt to lose weight. Instead, I needed to know that I could cut my emotional ties with food. I had seen in myself for over a year just how much comfort I found in food and how destructive it was becoming. Sometimes it was a hard day or sometimes the end of a busy week. Whatever it was, food had become the ultimate comfort. I was no longer finding rest and solace in the Lord. I had turned my back to seek the easiest and quickest fix. I could feel it building and building, yet I chose to ignore it. I made excuses for why it was okay or how I was too busy to try and throw another thing into my routine. Yet, I kept feeling that nudge and small whispers from God. Did I love him more than whatever I was currently craving? Did I want to seek him and know him more than I wanted to spend a morning at Onyx drinking a latte? I knew it had reached the breaking point. I couldn’t run away anymore.

Part of the reason Whole30 appealed to me is the fact that it’s all or nothing. There are no cheat days, no half-way doing it. You’re either in or you’re out. I talked to Taylor about it and we decided to start the following Monday. It was an incredible 30 days of learning. I saw how hard it is to find foods that don’t contain sugar and how much bad stuff is in the everyday items we consume. I learned how to better read labels, how to fill myself with GOOD food, and to say no and be okay with it. There were really, really hard moments. About a week in we went to a birthday party and it was pretty miserable. At one point I had to leave and walk around the neighborhood and pray out loud because I was so frustrated and just wanted to be able to eat what everyone else was. I was mad at Taylor for keeping me accountable and I was mad at myself for how badly I wanted to give in. On that walk I just kept hearing, “For man does not live on bread alone but the very word of God. For MAN does not live on BREAD alone but the very word of GOD”.

Our culture is so strongly tied to food. When we are sad or when we are celebrating, food is involved. In 30 days we went to a birthday party, two weddings, and four community groups. We had to say no to lunches out and several times had to bring our own meal to eat separately from the group. And as hard as it was, by the end I felt amazing. I didn’t realize how bloated I’d been until I stopped feeling that way. My stomach rarely hurt and I didn’t want to nap in the middle of the afternoon. I felt GOOD. And by the end, my cravings were mostly gone.

Where are we now? Learning how to make better choices about what we consume. Dairy and gluten are still in our diets (for now) but I can tell a significant difference from how good I was feeling. I miss that and I know that something has to change permanently. I can better identify the bad habits when they start creeping back in – eating out of boredom, the snack monster showing up, or just craving something sweet for the sake of having dessert. I’m learning how to balance better and to say no, not because I have to but because I want to. I’m learning how to truly enjoy and savor. God gave us taste buds and we can worship him in that. But I don’t want to want those things more than I want him. I learned a lot about discipline and saw how hard it is, which I think is exactly the point. I had a love/hate relationship during Whole30 but I’m so thankful for it now. I would encourage anybody to do it and stick with it. It’s only 30 days and I guarantee you’ll learn a ton in the process. Whatever it is you’ve been putting off, I hope you decide that today is the day. No more making excuses.

lately

And in the midst of chaos and stress and feeling inadequate with grad school, it is good to feel human again. Finished these three in the last few weeks and I’m so close to my goal for the year. And to the man who judged me for reading Charlotte’s Web…..shame on you.

running and vulnerability

I am a proud member of the slow runner’s club. This, however, is not to be confused with calling myself a runner. I am slow and it hurts but I am learning to love the process. I ran three miles for the first time in over two years and I felt like I’d just finished a marathon. It is becoming a time for me to think and pray and not constantly fill my time and energy and thoughts with whatever is directly in front of me. I’ve stopped listening to music and now the things I’m so quick to distract myself with are gone.

Last week Taylor and I ran together for the first time ever. I had to eat my words after swearing up and down that I would never run with him. My insecurities lurk beneath the surface and they so suddenly rear their ugly head. You’re slow. You’re embarrassing. You can’t do this. They’re all lies yet I’m prone to believe them. And so, I let Taylor see me when I was struggling in a big way. It was a scary leap and it was extremely freeing and for the first time I saw running as something truly beautiful. Not because it got easier or I was less tired, but because it allowed me to begin to tear down the wall I hadn’t quite realized was even there. In exposing the weakest parts I like to keep hidden, light was allowed in. And where the light floods and exists and beams, darkness cannot.

So any slow runners out there…I’m there. I’m with you. Let’s go together.

adventure friend

Two months ago yesterday I said yes to the greatest adventure yet. The past two months have been filled with more conflict, grace, laughter and friendship than I think either of us really expected. Thanks for choosing me. I love this life with you.

on the subject of weddings

Our wedding was an unusually cool evening in July, smack dab in the middle of a holiday weekend. It was beautiful and wonderful and all of our people were in one place. It was an incredible day and yet what I truly remember is standing and taking communion with Taylor, tears streaming down my face. It was the culmination of years of different prayers being answered in a single hour and it was too good for me to imagine. Yet, it was just a day. In the process of planning a wedding the thought we kept coming back to is that we were not just planning a wedding. We were not just planning a special day, although it would be incredible. Instead, we were beginning the process of planning a life together. Our wedding would be special and lovely but it was and is everything else that comes after. Our honeymoon would end eventually (although we’re on honeymoon day 49, way to go babe!) and there would be conflict. Maybe even conflict ON our honeymoon. Yes, that too.

We planned our wedding for six months and it was an incredible time of seeing the Lord provide so many people and gifts in that time frame. From baking our wedding cakes to altering my dress to helping oversee every aspect of our wedding, it truly was a gift to see the outpouring of love. The village that rose up around us and supported us was such a tangible picture of God’s provision and love for his kids. And after six months of planning, it’s not the decorations, invitations or bridesmaid dresses that I remember. And if you were there, I bet you don’t really remember those things either. In the end, all of those tiny details I spent so much time worrying about, planning and agonizing over really didn’t matter. Because at the end of the “dream wedding” I was now living with somebody who is just as human as I am. That means there’s fighting, selfishness and learning how to love somebody in a new way. It happens no matter how beautiful the wedding is.

Instead, here is what remains of that day. Saying yes to this grand adventure of life with the man that I love. Promising to choose him, to say yes and to make space to invite more people to sit at the table. Committing to love him and fight for him because he is so worth it. And at the end of the day, we got married. Hallelujah.